The point I have been attempting to make in the two previous posts - a point I feel unconfident about being able to convey - is that, for those of us born in "the modern world" (but, more and more, for almost anyone born on the planet), "conscious living" (as I have been using this phrase in this blog) is virtually impossible. Another way to say this is to speak in terms of authenticity. It has become very, very difficult, if not impossible, to be authentic. For most people this is a non-issue. It becomes an issue for people who have chosen a path of personal growth, of spiritual growth, of being the very best that they can be. It is a huge issue for people who have not merely chosen to become conscious but who believe that, after many years of being on the path, they are now "conscious" or "awake" or "enlightened" (including gurus and other spiritual teachers). The conclusion I have reached, after over two decades of being on this kind of path, is that the most dangerous of all illusions is the illusion of having reached such a goal.
What I would like to do in the next few paragraphs is to convey, to anyone who feels a need for guidance, what you can do to become more conscious, more awake, more aware of your undisclosed selves, especially those that inhabit the deep dark recesses of your consciousness, the ones you truly do not believe (at this moment) that you possess. In our seminars and our one-to-one counselling sessions, we often refer to "the shadow"; at other times we might talk about "the unconscious"; sometimes we use different words (For example, Harbans sometimes refers to "the parts that are not visible to you, but which run your life, because it takes energy to push them down or to disown them - and those parts use that energy to run you"). In all these cases we are referring to the dark, unknown places most of us do not want to visit or even to acknowledge. Our understanding is that, while these unknown areas often contain hidden goodness and beauty, they equally often contain impulses that we generally label as "evil", "perverse", "spiteful" or "violent". Our experience is that the more one emphasises "love and light" the more powerful these impulses become, as they demand to be heard and seen, as they seek self-expression. This is what makes them dangerous, to both self and other.
Why, you may ask, do we have these impulses in our shadow at all, especially if we have spent many years in therapy, or meditating, or doing seminars and personal growth courses and workshops? Our understanding is that
our essence is, indeed, love, beauty, peace, goodness and light but that, in our
human form, we embody both ends of the polarities labelled "good" and "bad", "good" and "evil", "love" and "hate", "peacefulness" and "violence", "light" and "darkness". At the moment of conception, we carry all the qualities of which human beings are capable - the best and the worst - as potential. By the time we are born, some of these have been eliminated as possibilities, though most remain as potential. Although the human brain and nervous system have only partly been constructed at the moment of birth (most of it during the third trimester), an enormous amount of growth remains to be completed during the first two years of life, by which time some 80% of the brain is complete. The growth continues during the third year and, indeed, during the rest of our lives. We are at no point a totally "finished product" (although the first three years may well represent a "critical period" for brain development, together with the final three months as a fetus). What takes place during this time (in the womb, during the critical first three years and then during the rest of our journey) is what determines "who we are", in the sense in which most of us understand this phrase. Almost noone in the modern world has all (or even most) of the needs of normal growth satisfied (natural birth, breastfeeding for as long as needed - probably for well over two years - sleeping with the parents and being in constant physical contact during the first year at least and being attended to and comforted when the baby cries or otherwise communicates her needs - these are the bare minimum). But even if the baby's and young child's needs are satisfied and she grows up as a healthy, conscious human being, she retains, AS POTENTIAL IF NOT NECESSARILY AS ACTUALITY, all the qualities and characteristics of which human beings are capable. For most of us, we need not concern ourselves with such a scenario, because our experiences, especially our early childhood experiences, have been far from such an ideal. That means that, apart from the fact that
unsavoury characteristics - such as perverse or violent or spiteful impulses for example - are always present as potential,
for most of us, many of these impulses are also present, somewhere in our consciousness, as actuality, irrespective of whether we are aware of them or not. "Nihil humanum a mihi alienum puto" ("I believe nothing human to be alien to me"), written by Terentius 2000 years ago, sums up what I am trying to say. "There but for the grace of God walk I" is another way to say the same thing. That is the reason for the principle advocated by the ancient Greeks (Socrates being but one among many), "Know thyself".
Now much of this may be obvious to you already. Our experience is that, even amongst people we have come to know well, the principle may be obvious in the abstract but not when it comes to themselves! How can you know whether and how any of this applies to you? Here's how. If you are a human being and you are still alive it applies. How can you make use of this in your everyday life so that you will continue to grow? I would like to suggest the following, all of which Harbans and I have done and continue to do.
The first "how" is that you can't do it by yourself [To be continued]
